Letter Sent Yesterday with Script

Sorry to have taken so long to post. things have been crazy busy, but to kind of sum up my activities, here is a letter I sent to two gentleman with copies of my script yesterday afternoon. Kind of sums up what's been gong on with me.

Dear Bruce and JD,

This past two months have held a very odd set of experiences for me, more importantly they were faith changing experiences. While with the exception of a very brief, very vague e-mail exchange between Bruce and myself last month, I haven’t spoken to either of you in nearly nine years, yet both of you were very much tools in the messages God had for me lately. One of the physical products of this set of experiences is a script, which I have enclosed with this letter for each of you. It is not really 100% finished (we tend to tweak as we perform it) and there are still probably some errors/typos here and there (seems like I can never find them all before final printing…) but for the most part this is what I have been learning. The reason the two of you are listed in the acknowledgements of the script is what I wanted to explain.

Nine years ago I was a youth minister at a small Southern Baptist church FL. The town was really just a glorified truck stop; wide place in the road; blink and you’ve missed it kind of town. The church was also old, and based on what I saw, stagnating. They had been though four youth ministers in less than two years and the final volunteer minister was a sweet man with a good heart but had two completely out of control teenage sons and who was over his head. Seeing as I had worked in churches before in youth and child positions, professional and volunteer, and I was pursuing a career in education (High School English) when I saw the notice on the job board at the BSU at UF, I called, interviewed and oddly enough (considering my gender and their theology) got the job. Then things really got interesting.

Bruce had spoken for a few days at UF (BSU and FCA) that May and had caused quite a few of us there to re-evaluate our direction in life… part of the reason I looked into the Youth Minister job, actually… and four of us girls drove up in June to the mission’s conference you guys sponsored (Awakenings ’98, I think?) where we met Paige Patterson and several other truly amazing individuals… (And I had to explain to Clayton, on stage, at the talent night, what a Bidet was. I can still see the look on his face…). The experience was so positive that I asked Bruce to come and speak to my group of kids at Hawthorne for our summer retreat. He did a terrific job and was a real inspiration not just to the kids, but also to the college students who had “tagged along” to help out, including my own younger brother (and now a pastor himself).

That summer I learned a lot about genuine faith, surrendering to God’s will and, well, frankly, what being a responsible grown-up really means. I really fell short on a lot of those issues. That summer ended up being pretty humbling. More importantly it made me re-examine my priorities, my faith and my direction. After the summer was over I e-mailed Bruce while he was in Russia and also JD while he was on mission as well (I believe somewhere in Eurasia, but I can’t remember). Both of you were very encouraging, but even though I’m sure he had no idea who I was, JD’s words often really challenged me. My youth had written a few letters to JD that I had transmitted over the internet, and his responses meant the world to those kids. I also still have a copy of the e-mail JD sent me when I e-mailed both of you about the fact that I was terminated as the youth minister at the church when the new head pastor was installed. It was of great comfort. Words fail to convey my meaning on that, but that’s all I can think of to explain.

When I finished grad school at UF, I went on to become an English, Journalism, Oratory and Drama teacher. After three years I moved. Up here I’ve worked with Title 1 (No Child Left Behind Act) and am now an English Teacher and Drama Coach to 9^th Graders. Also, after completing a year long night school program, I am an Emergency Medical Technician Intermediate and work with the Boy Scouts of America as the Medical Officer (there are too many capital letters in that sentence and it really sounds pompous… I just patch up teenage boys in the summer up on the mountain where they shot the movie Deliverance). Three years ago I also took over the care and responsibility of my 83 year old grandmother, Nana. Most people have children, I have a Senior Citizen; but she’s a spunky little lady and I love every minute with her. The other big part of my life brings me to and explains the reason I’m writing and the script.

Currently I attend and Alliance Church. The Alliance denomination grew out of the CMA (Christian Missionary Alliance) and is a really great group of people. Their mission focus and commitment to foreign missions is what really speaks to my heart. Three years ago, they approached me about directing a youth drama as part of their annual foreign mission conference. I jumped at the chance to serve. This year will be our fourth production. The first two years we used existing scripts about Jim Elliot and then John and Betty Stam. The third year (last year) we decided to go in a different direction (away from Martyred Missionaries) and did an adaptation of Max Lucado’s “Just the Way You Are” called “Children of the King.” While I wrote that script, it was a pretty easy process as I had Max’s amazing story to work with and could use simple language and a simple structure to go with the children’s book theme. This year we decided to work from scratch and go slightly more adult. While as an English teacher and a writer it seems like this should have also been easy, boy was I wrong on that.

The intention had been to write about two men, friends, one answering God’s call to missions and the other putting it off for “later.” While the plot and structure was decent, the dialog was consistently stilted and flat (no matter how dramatic the actors… I had some friends read to me to see if that was simply the problem) and there was no depth. Saying that I was frustrated really wouldn’t cover the emotions. While I was very confidant of the story, I just couldn’t hear the voices of the characters and I didn’t “know” them.

Then I had a dream. Normally when I dream, if I remember, which is rarely, names, faces and histories are all jumbled up. They don’t match. However, in this dream, I was at a church, to drop something off, when the kids came running out to get me. They were going on a youth retreat and they needed me to hurry up, we were late. Then they also told me we had a guest speaker, Bruce, who wanted to talk to me before we left. Bruce had the right face, the right name and the right history. The only problem was that I hadn’t planned on going on this retreat, so I was scrambling to make calls and rearrange my schedule so I could go. Then I woke up.

I hadn’t thought about Bruce in years, (nor JD) so that he would be so clear, so vivid, was rather odd to me. When I got to work, and had a free minute, I googled Bruce to see what he was up to; I even dropped him an e-mail, which he promptly replied to very warmly (which was nice considering how off the wall it was and how busy he must be). My students had a lot of book work that day and so I found myself with work time and nothing to do that minute and so I kept looking around. Thinking of Bruce caused me to look up JD too and low and behold I came across JD’s blog, online sermons by both Bruce and JD and several articles. During my planning period I began to listen to the sermons. They all addressed issues central to the issues in the play. As the day went on I began to feel energized, like there were ants under my skin (in a good way). While I couldn’t write at all that day, and trust me I tried, I found myself hearing the character’s voices. I called several trusted friends and we all began praying for my eyes and heart to be open to God’s message as we all felt this was not just a strange coincidence. That weekend I visited my father in Tallahassee. There on the wall of his Sunday School classroom was a quote from Meister Eckhart in The Way of Jesus.

The soul must long for God in order to be set aflame by God’s love; but if the soul cannot yet feel this longing, then it must long for the longing. To long for the longing is also from God.

This summed up the main character of the play perfectly. That was the last Sunday my father’s class would be in that room, the next week they were moving to a new classroom.

By Monday I was ready to write. The words just poured out. The play that was supposed to be about a man’s journey to missions became a play about a man’s journey with God. More importantly it was my journey. I found myself remembering who I was nine years ago. The lessons I was learning and the purpose God was showing me. While I had not so much “strayed” from the path in the past years, I had “forgotten” about some of the goals. In my busy-ness I was becoming complacent in my mission for God and I was withholding my gifts and talents from His purpose.

On Friday, January 19, 2007, I finished the script. This was a good thing seeing as we had already cast and begun rehearsals the week before. The kids were instrumental in helping me figure out what sounded right and what works. Having finished the script I had it printed and bound for the kids to use. In the script I included an acknowledgements page. This project ended up being so profound in experience to me that I felt I needed to publicly recognize those who affected it. I hope you two don’t mind, you are listed as well. I have enclosed a copy of the script for each of you so that you can have it (Or give it away, or burn it, or line the cat box with it… except neither of you struck me as cat people… the point was I wanted you to know). The play will be performed on Friday, February 23, 2007 at 7:30PM and the following Sunday at 3:00PM. While the multi-media portions of the play and the musical accompaniment between acts is not included in the play (and adds quite a bit to the production) I still think you can see the overall message. God used both of you in that message. Thank You!

It was good to hear from Bruce. Congratulations on your accomplishments for missions and you successful career at SEBTS. Owning your own house is a big step as well, congratulations on that too. While I haven’t spoken to JD, I was excited to see his church page and hear/see about his family. You and your wife look very happy and your daughters are beautiful. What a blessing. Having watched my father pursue his PhD, my brother pursue his M Div at Moody and in the process myself of starting my PhD, I can’t begin to say how impressed I am by both of your academic titles. Further, it was wonderful to hear you speak and see how the fire and passion are still there in your presentations as well as how much you have matured as speakers. May God continue to bless both of you and your messages of missions and God’s love as much as those messages blessed my life in the past two months (not to mention nine years ago).

Gratefully,

~Sandy

P.S. If you have read all the way through this, thank you for your time, I know you are both very busy. That is why I didn’t send this as an e-mail and attachment. Besides it took a bit to explain, sorry about the length. I just felt that you should both have a chance to see and be aware of the part that you played in this production.

Top Chef

I have really gotten into the show Top Chef. I'm a bit of a foody and I like the issue of leadership versus skill versus natural talent versus luck kind of thing. Further, with all the contestants being professionals in the same field, the show tends to be most what it is supposed to be about and less about drama… with one exception, this season. The group of chefs, forced to live together, be under constant scrutiny, with no privacy and get a bit deprived of sleep as well, have chosen to pick on a smaller, odder member of the team. While I recognize that editing is a big factor in how we perceive information, this poor kid doesn't seem to be all that big a problem. Maybe it's my experience with the boy scouts (could I tell you some stories about juvenile arrogance!) but Marcel didn't seem all that bad to me. Arrogant, yes, cocky, yes, self absorbed, yes, malicious, no, stupid, no, an actual jerk, no. He is smaller than most on the show, he has a bit of a quirky personal style, and he's definitely eccentric. Considering the contestants are all adults, I also understand why the producers did not step in on bullying issues. Let them handle their own problems, but then why did the producers include the issue at all on screen?

Last night we saw why. One contestant, a very large and strong guy, jerked the kid out of a sound sleep and man handled him, pushing him down into the carpet and holding his arms behind him. Another contestant watched and a third filmed the whole thing. While I imagine they weren't out to hurt anyone, it almost had the surreal quality of a graphic rape scene in a movie. I felt threatened and I was surprised at the composure of the kid who got grabbed. People are upset about what happened and rightly so. The big guy was asked to leave when the incident came to light.

In school today we talk a lot about the issue of bullying. I was bullied in elementary school (and yes I was the bigger kid) so I know how awful it is. I also think that a lot of people are quick to scream bully over a single event/bad day on the part of a child. It's a hard balance. However, once you leave school, things seem to really change. Our society has made it OK to slander and defame someone, all as part of being real, honest, etc. Blogs are starting to get scary, where family members beat up on other family members, friends, neighbors, collogues and give out personal information so those involved feel less safe and publicly judged.

Demons, Flies, Plays and students

Hey,

Yes, I know I've been out. Things are crazy, I can't blog at work, I have minimal dial up at home and well I can't seem to catch a break except when I'm at Kinkos on other errands...

Apparently a squirrel died in the insulation of our ceiling of our apartment. Flies laid eggs in the carcass. Now there are huge black flies pouring into the ceiling space with a few escaping here and there into the house, but they all congregate (the ones in the ceiling) inside the fluorescent light panels where they make such a buzzing racket they sound like bees. You can't sit in the living room without your skin crawling and the landlord can't get an exterminator here until Monday evening!

Mother is at it again. While she had Nana she was up to a couple of her tricks. Nana lost no money, really, but trust was abused. Further Mother managed to undermine Nana's confidence, slip into destructive behavior patterns with me and this afternoon... She called to tell me that her therapist pointed out to her how aberrant some of her parental behaviors were with me. OK. Good. Glad she learned, see that, etc. Then she went on to point out that the therapist also thinks I have the behaviors too... I learned them from mother. I've never met mother's therapist by the by, so how she can diagnose me from 700 miles away, who knows... but saying that I'm a little angry, frustrated, mortified, disgusted would not cover it.

We are starting our mission play for the church. This year I am working from scratch, writing, directing, producing. This is hard! Tonight are the final auditions with rehearsals starting Sunday...

My classes this semester are better. The kids are getting the message, but a few are still... to use my mother's new favorite word... aberrant. We'll see how it goes.

Hope everyone is well. Oddly enough, I am.