Home

Got home Sunday night, got Nana moved back home and then spent all day Monday sleeping...

Today I have ordered a new licence (lost my wallet in a movie theatre a week ago, what a mess) and am taking Nana to do nails. We still have things to do before I go back to work on Friday.

Mom should be here on Wednesday and she will take Nana with her for a "visit" next week. That will give me time to set up a new system here.

Also in about three weeks I go back to graduate school to get my leadership add-on. The idea being that no matter what it will make me a better teacher, but I will have the option of being an administrator if I choose and someone wants me to administrate... I don't think I would like it long term, for all that I think I would be good at it. The classes should be interesting.

My students arrive next Thursday. I am actually looking forward to the new experience that a new class is...

More than any other summer, I am simply glad to be home, for all that things really are a mess right now...

I am ready for Fall.

Maybe it's time

To be done.

Maybe my perspective isn't right anymore.

Maybe I'm not as important as I thought I was.

Maybe this isn't the right place for me anymore.

The "Sandy, you're the best"s just don't seem sincere and don't really matter.

They did not thank Lynne, or Mark or Carnell or Dennis or any of those who work so hard behind the scenes. Yes, that includes me, but that isn't this singular issue.

It is wrong to do it for the sake of getting recognized... that would make me no better than Mr. Bird. But I can't shake the feeling that there was more to be said and it wasn't. If Mike hadn't Daniel really should have.

Mark always says when it's not fun anymore you should go home.

This is starting to feel more like co-dependence than fun.

I could also be tired, but it doesn't nullify the point.

I've got to figure out what to do with Nana, going back to Grad school (and the bill it creates...), figure out the car, deal with school in general and then of course there is my health and my weight and the concern that my heart, through no fault of it's own might explode out my chest...

Maybe it's time.

What they have become...

So let me make sure I got this right.

One group of staff went out last night and got very drunk and were too hungover this morning to make formation... They were directors.

One group was up too late and out too late and made a huge mess of the vans... and then one threw away medical forms in the process of cleaning up.

One group got together and let all the boats and canoes loose in the lake... this is staff mind you. They did not help gather them back up.

Then the group that runs the lake threw a temper tantrum and refused to clean it up until class started and so two periods of kids will not get their merit badges in boating and canoeing... kids who worked hard and paid their money same as everyone else. The program director supported this temper tantrum.

So I took the food I usually make for Friday afternoon directors doing grades and gave it to the kitchen staff. All that cheese and mexican food would not have been good on hung-over, self indulgent, lazy stomaches...

Meanwhile Mr. Bird complains to anyone he can find that I did not give him an X-mas present, but other people got them... Not that he gave me one mind you and he won't say anthing to me about it... Go figure. I feel guilty... that I don't feel guilty. I gave rpesents to who I wanted to and I was under no obligation to give one to anyone. This is not kindegarten where I have to give a valentine to everyone even the kids that are mean to me...

What a bunch of self indulgent children they all are.

I weep for their lives...

Late Night Resolve.

The lady that runs Nana's personal care home called last night at 9:30 PM. She was nearly in tears... at one point was crying... Nana is miserable. I spoke to her at length too. This is not working.

The four months, especially the time I am at camp was nessesary. But I cannot keep going through this.

So I spoke to my mom and my brother. Nana is coming back to me. Then maybe she'll spend a few months with mom this fall, maybe not. We'll see. But I need her back, she needs her dog and I am no longer comfortable with the care she is recieving there...

There is actually more comfort in this decision than panic. It's the right thing to do.

I will not let my Nana be that upset and scared if I can help it...

She is coming home.

Sick!

OK, so I was sick. It started as a cold. Standard head cold virus kinda thing. Two days down and then I was better. Then it got worse again, the hacking cough joined the party and there were funny colors not from the pretty rainbow...

Thankfully a doc at camp gently patter my shoulder and said, "Please, let me help you..." Wonderful man! He gave me 750 mg of Leviquin. I am happy to report that after another two days down, that anything bacteria-y that was living in me is quite dead now.

So now I am better. The fourth of July passed. I tried to sing for the show, and choked on a bug during America the Beautiful. Very attractive and melodically...
Yeah right.

I've also now had two run in's with administrator types, Victorious types, who are morons and suffer from the delusion that they are the John Wayne of Boy Education. May it bite them firmly in the but! I should be so lucky. My luck I will be thrown under the bus like my predecessors on these kinds of fiascos. No I cannot and will not be more specific. HIPPA and Youth Protection dictate that. Morons!

Also, I am now almost blindingly strawberily BLONDE! God Help us All! I'm getting used to it.

Did I mention it is Christmas in July...?