For the past several years I have been part of an internet match up service. I started as a dare, and have continued because it makes me feel like I am least keeping my heart open to the possibility of marriage, though I am very happy (and busy) as a single person and will happily continue as such until God makes some very specific gestures that I should be otherwise. Anyway, part of this match up process is utilizing multiple choice questions to get to know each other. Each person gets to pick five questions to be answered by the prospective candidate from a list of about 60. There is one question that automatically tells me this is not a person I am going to be compatible with.
The question is, "If I was having a bad day, what would you do to make me feel better?" Then there are four possibilities including back rub, nice dinner, ignoring the problem or talking about it. You can also write in an answer. This is the problem I have with the question, actually there are several problems.
Most importantly, what I would do would have a lot to do with who that person was, what the problem was, what our relationship was like and what that person needed most at that specific time. How can I know that from a little computer profile and a couple pictures?
Secondly, while it is true that we need to look for partners who will support us, I find it a rather presumptuous question. Most men would be offended, I imagine, if one of my initial questions was "If we were to marry, what size diamond would you buy for my engagement?"
As much as I do think it is a good web service and have decided to continue to work with them, for the past three years in fact, that questions continues to bug me every time I get it. Thankfully it is not very popular, but it has happened at time or two, and did this week. It just seems so sad that this would be a way people would judge a partners suitability.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
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