The Scarlet Ibis

One of the stories my students read each semester is "The Scarlet Ibis." It's an interesting story about a boy and his brother, Doodle, who has some unnamed handicap that makes walking difficult. The older brother pushes his younger brother to be able to move, get along and eventually walk. In the process of teaching his brother to run, his brother finally succumbs to the inevitable that the doctor had been warning about and dies. It is an interesting story and tends to cause a lot of reaction from students.

As an adult I find the story interesting because I can see that it is not the older boy's fault his brother died. Granted the older brother was not always nice, pushed his brother too hard sometimes, and was occasionally cruel. Most siblings do those things. In this case there were factors beyond both boys' control that neither understood. The older brother may have made a mistake in his actions, but what occurred was in no way proportionate to that mistake. Life is like that a lot I think. Mistakes and consequences out of proportion, in both directions.

Last year (2005) at summer camp I had a run in with another staffer. Up to that point we had been rather close. I thought of him as one of "my boys." We were rough housing (not uncommon) and I broke the locking mechanism on a strap that he used to keep his pocket knife attached to his belt. The locking mechanism wasn't the only thing that snapped. Only now, over a year later is there anything resembling a comfortable friendship between the two of us again. I've never understood why. He's never told me and I don't think I can ask. The reaction was not proportionate to what occurred. I suffered a lot of guilt over the whole mess, and there were a lot of uncomfortable incidents at camp during the off season because of it.

Five years ago a good friend that I trusted compiled a list of 50 things she hated about me and I came across it one day when I was doing some housekeeping. This happened two days after she announced that, while she had volunteered and we had already made plans accordingly because of it, she was not moving to Georgia with me. This ended up costing me $1000 in moving costs because I had originally planned on her being with me during the move. When I saw the list I was beyond furious, beyond hurt and beyond betrayed. Yet I never told her, never yelled at her (which with my temper is saying something) and just let it go. We even stayed in touch. She continued to act like she thought of me as a good, close friend. Several years later I let her come visit me and she even came to camp. I introduced her to the man she later married (he was a good new friend of mine that I met just after moving here) and let her live with Nana and I for the 13 months before their wedding. I sang in the wedding. Now she works for me helping to care for Nana (She lost her last job to budget cuts right after she got married.) My original reaction to the situation five years ago was not anywhere near proportion to what she had done. People who know most of the story have commented on it to this day. Because of the fact that I didn't loose my temper back then, I have the help I desperately need with Nana now (and she's gown up a lot since that whole mess, otherwise she wouldn't be caring for Nana). By the same token she once asked me why we aren't the same kind of close friends that we were all those years ago when we were roommates the first time. I've never had the heart to explain it to her. Mostly I just stammered something about people changing over time and so friendships do. The few times we have argued since she moved here I tend to get angrier than the situation calls for though... Makes you think...

This past summer I put a good friend in a really awkward situation, though he says I didn't. Then I made a bad judgment call because I was really upset about that situation and let some other friends make some bad decisions that I should have/could have/ would have normally stopped. They also seem to feel it was not that big a deal. In terms of repercussions none of it was, in that nothing happened in the long term. I'm still good friends with the one and the others and everyone is healthy, happy and whole... So, no big right? Again, I'm not sure that the mistakes and the repercussions were in proportion.

The students and I talked today about decisions we make as young people and the repercussions that occur. A fifteen year old has sex and gets pregnant. She is now a parent which is a major repercussion for a common mistake of youth, nothing happened to her sister when she did the same thing. Yet another fifteen year old makes big mistake and gets drunk, but nothing happens, no one gets hurt and they go on with their lives mostly unaffected. Two people try Cocaine; one dies and the other just gets a buzz and is fine the next day. People drive all the time way over tired or over emotional, and sometimes they cause massive accidents and drunk people manage to get home with out killing anyone. My students had lots of examples personal and general about how the repercussions in life are rarely equal to the mistakes.

To a certain degree I guess some of this is what I was talking about yesterday when I talked about assumptions. We tend to assume that if we made the mistake before and nothing happened, we can make it again. We tend to assume that if nothing happens when we make a mistake that we got away with it, no harm no foul and that there is no damage. It is more than the issue of assumptions, however. Sometimes we make a minor mistake (though a mistake none the less) and the damage is massive. We never make that mistake again, hopefully, but we suffer for something that should not have been such a big deal. Sometimes we make a major mistake and nothing happens, but we continue to suffer because we know how close to ruin we came.

The Scarlet Ibis is a great story for that reason. I learn so much about my students each time we read it. I think they learn a lot too about themselves and the reality of life, mistakes, consequences and responsibility. Some times when I teach it, it is just a good class lesson, some days, like today, it is rather cathartic actually.

It was a nice surprise.

This is why I teach English. Somehow I don't think this is an experience I could have in a math class.

If you are interested the story is "The Scarlet Ibis" by James Hurst, I believe you can find it online. Let me know what you think.

That's several philosophic waxings in several days. Tomorrow (unless there is a really good reason otherwise) I plan to write something hysterical about nothing important.