Frustration Station

OK, now I’m getting mad.

The weight around my middle is not coming off particularly fast, particularly at all. Thighs, great, I could rival a horse for muscle mass. Arms, ugly, flesh hanging, but tightening up underneath. Great! Middle? Flabby awful gross! Scale, no change I can see...

Granted my diet hasn’t been perfect this past two weeks, but much, much better over all, not that it was bad to begin with. Then when I was talking to one of the new trainers at my gym about it, and how I was concerned that maybe I had a problem with inflammation, she pointed out that maybe I wasn’t eating enough (not enough, too much, not enough, too much, dwarf planet, dwarf, planet, daughter, sister, daughter, sister... I may be sick!) and my body was in starvation. She said that considering the calorie burn I was accomplishing on my workouts (1000-2000 calories 3 to 5 times a week) that was a real possibility.

Then there is the whole sleep thing. Apparently I’m not getting enough and that is making me fat.

I’m willing to take time, but not forever. Why can’t this be simple?

Then I have these doctors who hold up a chart and say I should weight “this” to be healthy. These people are nuts. I am not now, nor have I ever been a chart. There are not enough women my size and dimensions for these people to have enough data to chart.

Mostly, I’d like this to be simple, straightforward and, I don’t know, possible. Today it seems impossible.

Maybe I’m just meant to be fat.

This is too hard.