What I learned on vacation

This past week was a whirlwind of family, friends, nostalgia, old demons and mostly joy. I think I grew a lot in just the one week and came to a lot of important realizations. Some answers I was looking for, but just as many I sort of stumbled across.

On Friday, October 20, I flew into San Francisco to go visit my old hometown of high school, Novato, CA. While there I stayed with my former Journalism teacher who was a second mom to me and has become a great friend. Linda is a sprite-like, elfin even, little lady barely in her 60’s, though she looks much younger. She is as she herself described an earth mother. Time with her is always magical and full of learning. While visiting her I got to drive around my old hang-outs, and had meals with two other influential teachers from my past. Hanging out with all three of them confirmed something important for me. My own humanity. The importance of my individuality. They are people, in their own right, in addition to being teachers and like them I too am a unique individual. This was not a new lesson, but it was important none-the-less.

When leaving SF airport I was driving my rental car and got very lost in down town Frisco. Let me just say that while the people in Georgia often refer to Floridian Drivers as Flatlanders; I imagine Frisco drivers call Atlantaians the same thing. OMG! Worse, there was no one to help me and Linda wasn’t even sure where I was. My ability to get lost is legendary to say the least, so I was winding up my heart for a big loud panic and then I took a deep breath and figured it out and got to where I needed to be. Sometimes when I don’t let myself get spun up things are actually easier to fix.

Linda took me to my first Opera. Rigoletto. If you have never seen Opera, go. The stories make no sense, but it is still wonderful. The music swells and you hear it in your soul. I’ll leave that there, but I fell in love.

The best trip of all was a trip Linda and I took to Carmel Valley and Big Sur. Many years ago my family lived in Monterey while my father attended The Naval Post Graduate School. It was a beautiful place and I have good memories, but I also have some very bad ones. My mom talks about it like the last bastion of happiness in our family history (with all of us together anyway). Yet for me it was not. Linda and I went to several of the places I remembered from childhood and walked and shopped and chatted and looked and ate and I made a memory of that place that was mine, on my terms and that I have separate from my parents. This was important. Carmel Valley, Nepenthe, Big Sur and all were as beautiful as I ever imagined. Looking out over that beautiful ocean I remembered more about who I wanted to be and accomplish in a more clear way than I had before. Further, I felt the stirring of freedom in my soul that dusted out some cobwebbed corners. Oh! And my eyes are the color of the Monterey Bay Sea Water. I knew I recognized the color somewhere.

Visiting with Linda was such a joy. The talks we had, the laughs and even the tears. That is family to me.

Then I flew home, and got a good night's sleep. On Thursday I woke up and went to work out. Turns out you cannot work out hard on an empty stomach. You pass out when doing lunges and your trainer has to feed you her lunch (PB&J) and then she makes you get up and finish the work-out. Lesson Learned…

Then I drove to Gainesville, Florida to visit more friends that have become family. This was also a neat moment for me. Visiting them is always a joy, but this one may go down as one of my favorites. The difference is hard to explain, really. Maybe it has to do with me really being happy with who I am and being able to enjoy the blessings of my life.

The drives to and from were especially interesting because I got to think and process all that I am learning. It was a bit humbling as I looked back over the past several months, decisions I’ve made and paths I am choosing. Also the paths and choices of others around me and what I thought my life would be like if I did those things versus how their lives have actually turned out.

So now I am back to the grindstone.

Wednesday I meet with the head of the Graduate Department for the PhD program I want to start next fall. Nervous doesn’t really sum it up. This is where I really find out what the next big evolution in my life is going to be.

After the break, though, I think I’m up for whatever it is.