Knowing

It has never been a secret to me that for most people I am a lot. It's that emotional lightning rod thing.

People, I imagine, find me amusing, entertaining, exhausting and a bit intense, if not at least a little crazy.

I worry about that. How I must scare and fascinate people.

Because I know the flip side of all this, the scared little girl who just wants someone to love her and for everyone to get along.

Why is that picture so hard for people to see?

It's really late, I'm really tired and with everything else, right now everything is making me freak. I am looking for hidden meanings in how long it takes people to e-mail me back and whether they do at all and what they mean underneath what they write. So, if this makes no sense, don't worry about it. I'm not sure it was supposed to.