You have been demoted!

Poor Pluto. What an identity crisis. Planet, Dwarf, Planet, Dwarf, Planet, Sister, Daughter, Sister, Daughter! I can hear science teachers in the middle of astronomy units all over America planning to take their textbooks home this weekend and try and fix this mess!

Further, the emotional damage to anyone's psyche, much less a planet's (no wait, dwarf!) of being declassified has to be horrendous. It's got me thinking about what other things should we have specific definitions for and demote objects out of...

Journalists: Must have no bias, no malice and a conscience.
This demotes 85% to "annoying people with microphones/cameras?"

Students: Must be prepared for class, capable of doing basic skills at each level, respectful of teacher's authority.
This demotes 90% to oversized babies in a daycare system.

Dogs: Must have fur, tail, sweet disposition, leash and obedience
This demotes 25% to rats with funny haircuts.

Politicians: Must have good intentions, an awareness of what those they represent want, good sense, a sense of humor and integrity
This demotes 95% to noisy, self-centered, corrupt things in expensive clothes.

American Citizens: Must have Civic Responsibility, Civic Pride, Civic Awareness, Class and a desire to follow the rules of the country that provides you with rights so that others can enjoy them too.
This demotes 50% to house guests who have overstayed their welcome.

Here is the problem with the whole demotion concept (though I appreciate the concept of clear cut definitions and science), Pluto is still there. It still has a name. Most of us think of it as a planet. None of us really ever want to go there (Mars, yes, I hear there are men there, Jupiter, yes, I hear the view of the night sky is amazing, but Pluto, no...) So for the rest of the world, Pluto will still be the ninth "planet," Geraldo Rivera is still a "journalist" and the children in my room are still "students."

This was not intended as a political, moral or ethical post. I'm not actually after anyone today, I just got to thinking about demotions on my way home from school. I thought of a lot of other really good ones, like the definition of man, woman, parent, human, dinner, literature, art, love, intelligence, food, diet, ADD, and a bunch of other stuff. Very few things came out favorably. While I could have gone on and listed a bunch, eventually I would have become offensive even to myself, so I just didn't.

Lastly, I guess I've never liked the idea of using size to classify anything's value...