You cannot be serious...

Last night I found out something that absolutely dropped my jaw.

My mother is "online dating." She talks to lots of men and even goes out with several of them, for coffee, window shopping at the mall, talking online and on the phone. She is quite the social butterfly. Now, she explained to me that she is not looking for a "physical relationship" with anyone, not even marriage, but just companionship and friends and that she is up front with these men about that. So apparently she then also helps these men, counsels them on their dates with other women as well. One gentleman, she helped him shop for a bit more stylish clothing and he often web cams with mom before he goes on other dates so that mom can help him makes sure he looks okay before he goes.

As my mother was explaining all this to me I was struck by an awful thought. Bear with me, and I hope you all understand, but...

My mother is a 55 year old, severely obese, mentally ill, unemployed, bitter woman, who makes it clear from the get go that she will not sleep with anyone, or even "neck" and yet...

She has more dates than I do!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry. When I pointed this out to her, she laughed and said that it was because she answered everyone, and because I had standards I was looking for the real thing and therefore our "performance" could not be compared...

Intellectually, I understand that she's right, and that's fine, but the juvenile part of me is having a major temper tantrum this morning. If you know me, my mother or our history I imagine this is hysterical, if not, I hope I have conveyed just a little of the absurdity of this whole thing, but either way...

*** For the record, I am an overly tall, somewhat chunky/chubby 30 year old who carries loaded opinions with her at all times. I am by no means a man magnet nor would I ever expect to be, but I thought I at least had it over my mom!