To Relax...

I am planning a vacation. While this is not the first time, if it is actually accomplished (which it darn well better be!) it will be the first time I have pulled this off myself to any level of skill. I mean, travel a lot, visit family, go to conferences, but actual rompin' stompin' vacations are few and far between and until this one were always driven by my Dad. He took my family to Yosemite when we were in high school, on a cruise in college and London my fourth year as a teacher. Since then I have attempted to plan my own "vacations."

A dear friend of mine and I were going to go to London for a week in November. Cancelled in September for occupational conflict. We were going to go on a Cruise, I cancelled to facilitate surgery I never had. I did visit in Miami and it was nice, wonderful, but it wasn't the "vacation" I had dreamed I would take when I became an adult.

I always planned to travel the world. Go to London, Greece, Japan, Chile and all that stuff. I wanted to go on cruises, see fine restaurants, the pyramids and have brushes with greatness. Life is never that simple though. I mean still plan to travel, but there is this whole occupational mess and even worse, financing to deal with.

But this is the year. I am going on a cruise to Central America and the Caribbean. I am even going with a friend, though different than the originally planned companion. This is where things get complicated.

He's a boy. Now by modern society standards, as we are both well past the age of consent this is of no consequence to anyone else, but in my world this is a bit odd. Then again I live on a mountain with 800 boys all summer each year and no big, right? Friend and I are just friends, no possibility of anything else and we both have similar religious and moral beliefs, but figure we can change clothes in the bathroom. I figured my very conservative Dad would go apoplectic. No. "Have a good time, tell him I said hi!" Should I be insulted that Dad assumed no seduction? Or worse that friend could handle it if I made the pass? Not going down that rabbit hole today!

Anyway. It's 11 days. We get to see Mayan ruins and I have it on good authority there are no plays I have to direct. What will I do with myself? This will be so nice, simple, not complicated.

Then friend calls. "Make sure you bring one nice dress." he says. "you mean like cocktail or what?" "Nice." he says. Okay. Now I am obsessing about clothes. Which means I am also obsessing about weight. This could get ugly.

Okay, now I have to lose 20 lbs by the time I hit the port in New York or I won't feel good about myself on the cruise. Terrific.

Worse, friend is in the Air Force. A Dentist, actually. He told me to call him to confirm itinerary and to leave a message at office. He laughed and said I could say I was a Colonel. I laughed and explained that as a Navy Brat who bleeds blue and gold I would rather have my teeth pulled out with dull salad tongs. So when I called I said I was Lt. Cmdr. His office mates ambushed him.

"Why is some Navy chick calling you to confirm completion?"
"It was a joke about the rank, just a friend."
"Is this a date?"
"No, just the girl I'm going on an 11 day cruise with."

I have never met these people he works with, never will and now I obsess over what or who they think I am.

Gracious! I need a vacation! Oh wait, that always gets complicated....