Thursday, May 18, 2006

May Flowers from Showers

Today I am hosting the shower at school for two of my heavily pregnant co-workers. Bless their swollen bellies.

Teachers usually tend to have their children in the summer or at X-mas time. Occasionally you have a Spring Breaker. Or lives revolve around convenient ways to step out with out causing riots in our classrooms.

Our Assistant Principal gave birth this morning. Bless her... Well her you know, I imagine it hurts right now. She has had a rough pregnancy. This is her second (and last according to her). She was in a back and belly brace for the last two months. Also, and I promise to stop here, I thought hemorrhoids were only in one place. Apparently pregnant women can get them in two places. OMG! Ouch. So bless her.... Poor dear. But I've already seen the picture and what a beautiful little girl.

Do you really forget all about the pain? Somehow I can't imagine that is true. I have a very high threshold, but a very long memory.

My Dad was a terrific single parent, and I have met other terrific single parents (some who became that way through no fault of their own, others who chose that), but I guess I've always figured that the best set up is two parents.

Mother is fond of calling me and pointing out that my eggs are aging (I'm only 30 for crying out loud!) and there isn't nearly the stigma associated with children outside of wedlock that there used to be. I told my Dad that if I truly wanted to get my mom out of the bad situation she is in all I had to do was get pregnant and she'd move here in a heartbeat. Dad said she'd get here in time for the funeral.

Also, I find pregnancy fascinating. Really. It's been neat to have a close friend that I see everyday who is pregnant so I can almost live vicariously. Luckily she is very out going and open and loves me enough that she talks to me, lets me feel and tells me stuff without me even asking (or being afraid to ask) anymore. I would love to be pregnant. But here's the thing.

I wouldn't do it with out being married and being sure I was going to be able to stay married forever. Much to Mom's horror and despair. For a couple reasons.

1) Two parents are best. Already explained that. Moving on.
2) As a teacher I cannot justify the example of pregnancy outside of marriage. How can I teach or endorse abstinence for my students? Even if I went IVF, how would they know that? Granted now a days there are teachers that do and they can't be fired for it anymore, but if I had a daughter in a teacher's class and that happened, I'd ask my daughter to be pulled from that class. Also having said that I have many friends I love, adore and support who have gone this route. This is just a me thing, I think.
3) I'd be more comfortable being a parent if my mother was dead.

I imagine three makes me sound like a jerk and I won't explain, really, at least not today, but my brother is in about the same boat, though he and his wife plan to adopt, eventually, so it's not just me.

I do think about adopting. That's another kettle of fish. These are kids who have no one, so in their case, one parent is better than nothing. In this case I am also speaking of kids that are not necessarily infants. The kids that are hard to place. I could be a good mom to those kids. I imagine as a single woman they (as in the adoptive powers that be) might prefer I therefore was given a girl. That's fine. It is funny that I have more an affinity for boys, but I mentor several girls right now, so...

I figure when I'm 35, and still single, if Nana is squared a way, and I can also purchase a house, and am financially stable, I'll look into it. (And when I get a castle and a pony... to look at, not ride mind you... and date a rock star... There is no perfect time for kids, I know, I just know I am not ready now...)

But I'd still like to be pregnant, just to know what it's like.

My co-worker friend has also begun to terrorize me lately with the stories of her first two deliveries which followed no pattern, were not expected, and her water always broke in strange, public places. As her fellow teacher, I now live in fear. She says she is going to visit me at camp in late June (less than a month beofre due date). I want her to visit. We would have such fun, but I am the medic up there and the senarios flashing through my head are both humorous and terrifying. I do hope (and think) she will visit. Maybe we could scare the snot out of all those poor boys. The possibilities are endless.

Twenty year old (single) boys find pregnant women terrifying. Partly because they are afraid the fertility might rub off on them and then onto their girlfriends, partly because they have seen too many TV shows where babies were born in elevators and partly because well they are boys... Like I said, that would be fun to watch for a couple days.

Sorry, guess there was no point or direction to this blog, just brain wandering. I'll try to remember another one of my stupid and strange injuries and post again later.

1 comment:

Dreaming again said...

I don't think #3 makes you sound terrible, it makes you sound wise!

I look at what my father does to my kids ... and he's not around much. I see what my in laws lack of existance in their lives, but existance on the planet does to my kids ... and I see that statement .. and I fully understand why my brother and his wife chose to not have kids. (her parents are like my in laws)

It's not so much that my Dad hurts me that drives me nuts ... it does. But when the words he says hurts my kids ...that drives me to the brink of insanity! How dare he do that!

(one comment, within ear shot of my chubby, then 13 year old son was "The greatest disappointment I can imagine as a parent is having an overweight child."
EXCUSE ME? Then count your blessings MR!!)

It made my son question not only his grandfather's acceptance of him,but ours, and his PASTOR's! I was livid.

ok, shutting up now, ranting on your blog again