So today is Tuesday and I only have to look at this particular set of angels for three more days. On a couple of them that may be three days too many.
Worse, I have to look at my face in the mirror.
I am breaking out like a 13 year old the day before her period. This is not good.
Normally my skin and I have a good relationship. I clean, buff and moisturizer regularly, though not compulsively and it glows and stays soft for me. I have huge pores on my nose and cheeks, but I can't do anything about that, and with make up they aren't so bad. Really, I have few if any complaints.
When I was younger I thought I had awful skin because it was so pale and freckled. I also had the big pore thing even then. My mom's skin (also with big pores) was actually rough to the touch and I figured I was headed that way too. So I complained about my skin and did not like it. Also, while I did not have acne, I would get at least one massive pimple a month that would take weeks to heal.
My perception changed in college for two reasons. 1) My brother had acne. The real kind. The pimples on top of pimples kind. He worked as the burger flipper at Wendy's which made it worse. I would come home to visit and when he hugged me I had to concentrate on how much I missed him and try not to think about the masses of bumps on his face. He was actually a good kid about it. He never picked or squeezed, so he only has scars under his chin and on his neck where you can't really see them. 2) A friend of mine took me to task for complaining about my skin when all the girls I hung out with were jealous of it.
That was a real moment for me. Apparently I was the only one who ever saw the zits (and yes, they were there, I didn't imagine them!) Also, as I was so careful about sun damage and did use a more consistent regimen than most, my skin was very soft and smooth. As to the pores, no one seems to care that they are there and they don't show up in pictures.
I hate it when thin girls complain about their bodies when I am struggling to simply stay below the grossly obese line (chubby, soft, curvy, I can handle those, it's just words like morbidly and gross that daunt me...). Suddenly I saw myself on the other side of that equation. I have therefore never complained about my skin out loud since.
Until this weekend. This is awful! I even tried to convince myself that again, no one could see it. No such luck. My step mother asked when I saw her on Saturday if I needed to blow my nose. I said no. Why? Well there's this thing under your nose. Then she offered to help me get the food off my face. Nope, Step-Mom, those are zits too. Thanks. I feel much more secure now.
It is a bit better today, and I hope it was just a stress/PMS/exercise reaction. Otherwise, this could be a long summer.
Yes, I know that this is all way more information than most of you wanted to hear. It was all I could think to write about as I have been obsessing about it for three days. I decided not to write yesterday. I figured you wouldn't want to know. But by today, it's still all that's on my mind, so....
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1 comment:
you know, they told me when I was a pre teen that acne was a teenagers problem. They lied ...it was a cruel lie!
My sister had the acne like your brother. I had the kind you speak of. Only, it never went away ... every few weeks, I get them, from the time I was 14 ... still today at 41 ...I wonder if they'll ever go away.
My sisters stopped around age 18 or 19.
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