Christmas in July

This blog is not for the easily offended.

At camp we have a tradition. Christmas in July. I prefer it to regular Christmas, frankly. I mean I love what real Christmas is for and what it stands for and all that and I love the season, but with my family politics and issues and Jerry Springer stupidity, I really don't care much for the holiday. Christmas at camp is totally wonderful though. Granted it has none of the really cool reasons, Savior's birth, Good will toward man, and all that, but in terms of true completely altruistic generosity it can't be beat. It is also a great time for pranks, jokes and the teasing that is love and support between staffers at camp. In the past we even had a big roast beef dinner and such, but that has gotten to be too much of a hassle. So now we do it on the second to last Wednesday of camp, have cookies and Nogless Eggnog and do a white elephant gift exchange. In addition lots of staffers exchange little gifts. The rule is cheap or home-made. I get a lot of gifts for people. They are a good method of encouragement to the people who sometimes don't feel encouraged. In addition for the past couple years all senior staff that have to stand duty (stay up at admin overnight to answer phones and back me up) receive, from me, a towel with their name embroidered on it.

The tradition started back four summers ago when I was the office manager. That summer I lived up in admin with the medic and he and I shared our bathroom with four guys who lived in the Ballard Cabin. The Ballard Cabin is a historical landmark. It is a one room cabin and while it has electricity has no pluming. It is too far away from the staff area for the boys that live there (usually older boys... Over 21... Who are kayaking instructors) to use the facilities so the medic shares the facilities up in admin with them. (And in admin, everyone has their own room, I have never had a room-mate at camp... just to be clear) That first year I was terribly smitten (kind of like how Rosie was smitten with Tom Cruise, except I'm not gay and he's normal...) with one of the instructors. He was adorable and sweet and very smart. He was working on his PhD in psychology. He was also about 5'6. But still adorable. Anyway, one day I ended up on the phone with his mom. We chatted a bit and then she explained who she was. And I said, "Oh, I know your son. We share a shower!" Yep, that's exactly what I said. Thankfully she had a sense of humor. The incident got around and so they started to call the medic, myself and the Ballard Boys, "The shower buddies." So that year for X-mas, myself, I embroidered all of our names on towels. I gave each one of the boys their towels with a card that said "Now you will think of me when you are naked." It was a big hit.

The next year when I was the medic several younger boys (17) remembered the incident and gave me towels for X-mas. Not embroidered by them, but pretty orange ones with big turquoise flowers. They also got the matching hand towel and wash cloth. Nana is terribly fond of them. So when several of the boys came over to do yard work for me that fall after that summer and Nana kept calling them the towel boys I explained to them that the only person thinking of them when they were naked was Nana. Anyway.

My second year as the medic we started the Director on Duty system and I wanted to find a way to thank these young men for helping me out and the towel idea just seemed to fit. This time I had them professionally done. Luckily one of our staffers mother's is the one who does the embroidering for our staff shirts and so she did the towels for me, essentially at cost. I gave the towels out a X-mas. I did it again this year as well as they were so well liked and appreciated last year.

I receive gifts too, but more often cards. Homemade X-mas cards that are very sweet though often misspelled and sloppily written. It's the thought that counts after all...

It is also a tradition for me to give the director of the dining hall, a man old enough to be my father (Mark, see previous posts) that I flirt outrageously with as inappropriate a gift as possible. Last year I gave him a lacy red bra and panty set. While I had never actually worn it, it was in my size. All in good fun. This year, during staff week, the kitchen staff ran that same gift up the flag poles during morning formation. Seeing as it was just staff present, I thought it was pretty funny. This year I promised Mark I would be more demure in my gift, so I gave him a white eyelit lace set. Very innocent looking. However I also gave him pictures of me wearing them (over my dark green scrubs) in a Christmas card with a picture of the Virgin Mary on the cover. It was a great catch twenty two. If he didn't look at them he would think I had taken racy photos. If he did I could call him a pervert for looking. The senior (read over 18 and out of high school) staff was in hysterics over it all day. There was one problem however.

I had sent Drew (24 year old shotgun istructor nicknamed, and I am not making this up, Tinkerbell) to pick the pictures up at Walmart. There were only two, developed as 5X7 glossys. Drew said the clerk gave him the dirtiest look when he picked them up (I don't see why I was completely dressed!) and he didn't know why until he got to the car and peeked. What he didn't tell me was that he decided to use this opportunity to help some of the high school boys in cabin 2 kick their porn habit (These boys are mostly 16 and seventeen, starting senior year in high school). He photocopied the pictures onto one sheet of paper and slipped the papers into all the boys' magazines he could find (I'm hoping that was only a couple...). So X-mas was on Wednesday. On Friday one of the boys, one of "my boys" actually, rather sheepishly handed me a folded up piece of paper and said, "Um, I think this is yours." Obviously I was slightly confused. Like I said, I was dressed and so there was nothing to be embarrassed about I just wanted to know how the boys got it, it hadn't really beed intended for the younger boys to see. Eventually I caught up to Drew. He confessed immediately, explaining that he figured that if the boys were surprised by a picture of someone they considered a big sister while they were "using" the magazines maybe it would curb their habit or at least make them think about it a little more.

I thanked Drew for making my prank a Public Service Announcement.

Merry Christmas.

Only in my world.