And how is that your business?

Granted, I recognize I am writing a blog which is about being open and putting it out there, etc, but that is my choice with my life and information, not anyone else's. If I discuss someone else I make sure that strangers wouldn't know who I am talking about and if it's not strangers I wouldn't say something about someone I know (who reads this blog or is known by people who do) that I wouldn't (and already have) most likely said to their face.

This is not the same issue.

This year at school I am the coverage coordinator. If a teacher has to go home for emergency or something at the last minute or if a sub doesn't show up for someone, I am in charge of coordinating teachers during their planning period to cover that absent teacher. Mostly it's just a matter of organization. Two things are kind of interesting about this responsibility. People always look slightly panicked when I enter their room (please don't tell me I have to give up my planning today!) and I end up knowing more about people at my job's personal lives than I ever thought I would. Usually if someone's not at work I think, "Oh, they aren't at work today. Hope they are okay, all they love are okay and if I can help they ask." Then I stop thinking about it. I have classes to teach, papers to grade, teenager's raging hormones/egos to crush. Now that I am coverage coordinator I stop by my assistant principal's office most mornings and check to see "what's up." Or if it happens in the middle of the day an administrator or teacher comes to me. More often than not, every time so far, I am told why that person is not there, going home, needs help, etc. Even then mostly it's no big. Sick, car trouble, kid sick, etc. But this month, so far a lot of people have morning sickness (which to be fair is the sign of a happy work place... People are comfortable enough here to be working on their families) and one person had a miscarriage (so you know, no one I work with has this blog address to my knowledge). Stuff like that doesn't stay secret anyway, but people keep asking me what I know, when I knew it and what I think.

And how is that any of your business? What difference does that make? Why do you care?

Does it make your day better? Don't you think if they considered you someone who should know they will include you. If they will isn't it their right to decide when? If I was willing to talk about their issues doesn't it stand to reason I'll talk about yours? Did you really want to have that dread, because in my position I will know. This is part of my responsibility so I am polite yet firm, but...

Life was easier when I only had to be "aware" of my own problems.

I expect these kinds of questions as the camp medic. People are curious why there was an ambulance at camp, are their kids safe, etc. I give generals, not specifics and most troops don't relay know each other. Besides, as long as the kid lived if someone asks directly about "that kid that fell, got cut, drowned, etc" I say, "They're fine, now." and leave it at that. If they ask the troop I check to make sure it isn't theirs (in which case I still stay vague, depending, but can be a little more specific for the sake of panic and spin control). If they ask for specifics of the injury I smile and say "Sorry can't discuss that." That is easy. Here at work, we all know each other, the conversation is different.

"Hey, so I'm covering for X. Is she pregnant?"
"I can't answer that."
"Does that mean yes?"
"No."
"So she's not. Or she's not anymore? Did she miscarry?"
"I can't answer that."
"Does that mean yes?"
"No!"
"What does it mean then?"
"It means I won't discuss people's personal lives like this!"
"Fine, don't get huffy. I was just curious. Besides if I have to cover for them I ought to know why."
"OK, when someone has to cover for you I'll be sure and tell them why you aren't there. How's the alcoholism, hepatitis and homosexuality coming?"

Yes, I made the last part up. I just smile and say "I'll let the administration know your concerns."