Crush

There is a good possibility that I am nursing a growing crush on someone. This is not a good thing. These things never end well and my heart always seems to get ripped to pieces. Often without the crush even ever knowing so they go on being a good friend. That makes it worse and all the more dysfunctional. Seeing it coming doesn't even help. I can't seem to stop it.

So I called a trusted friend and asked him to slap me stupid. He seems to think this is a good thing and laughed jovially. When I am in tears at three in the morning I'm calling his but, let me just tell you. We'll see how funny he thinks it is then.

This is going to be a problem, I can just tell. That's why I've avoided this situation, successfully I might add for years. No the previous situation does not count, it was not, nor ever will be a crush or true romantic entanglement it was just loneliness, stupidity and boundary issues. But that's the point. That wasn't a crush and see what a mess it was? Exactly!

This is going to be a disaster. God must find me really amusing. Here, let me put a jester hat on to complete the look.