Nana just woke up. She was in tears. She doesn't remember much of anything that happened today and she is afraid I'm going to leave her alone and also afraid that she is ruining my life. I held her while she cried. Then I tried to make her laugh and then I put her back to bed.
This is getting worse.
I keep thinking we can put off her going to a facility, but when nights like these happen I know it is closer rather than further away.
Some nights I think this might actually kill me.
It would be such a relief to not be responsible for her all the time. Then I think about my life with out her and it sounds so lonely and empty. I find myself scared and crying in the night too.
I told Nana if she went to sleep she will feel better in the morning. This is where I hope my advice is true, for both of us.
Good Night.
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5 comments:
Gosh, Sandy, I wish I knew what to say to make it all better. You do so much for those you love and don't ask for anything in return. I pray that God be your strength in the days to come and that He give you comfort and guidance.
Sandy we are praying for you and nana.
Any words I could think of would only sound like empty platitudes...
I can only imagine the anguish you feel at facing such a decision and offer friendship to help you. If you should need it I have pretty broad shoulders.....
Having helped care my grandfather for the last few months of his life (and fearing the inevitable) I can relate to the fear of what was to come along with the joy of forming a real relationship with him and really getting to know him as a man and not just as my grandfather....oh, the stories he told me!!!!
I offer my prayers and support in any way you feel appropriate.
Any words I could think of would only sound like empty platitudes...
I can only imagine the anguish you feel at facing such a decision and offer friendship to help you. If you should need it I have pretty broad shoulders.....
Having helped care my grandfather for the last few months of his life (and fearing the inevitable) I can relate to the fear of what was to come along with the joy of forming a real relationship with him and really getting to know him as a man and not just as my grandfather....oh, the stories he told me!!!!
I offer my prayers and support in any way you feel appropriate.
sorry....it, for some reason, double posted my previous comments..... Maybe as a 'sign' that my intentions were sincere? ;)
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