Inconsistent

How can someone we care about so much make us so angry? How can we say very mean things to someone we care so much about? Why do friendships and relationships and interactions and whatever the heck else we call them have to be complicated, inconsistent and upsetting. Why, when I am discussing these issues with in myself do I become plural (we)?

No, there is nothing to explain, nothing to report, and even if there was, which there isn't, I'd sound crazy, so I'm not going to. (And no, I am not paranoid!)

Mostly, I am really tired. I keep having weird and upsetting nightmares that are not based in reality. I wake up in tears. One was about how my Dad said I had to go back to school and get a degree in economics, and that I would never get a PhD. Then I had one yesterday about people re-arranging my Med Lodge and me quitting when they wouldn't put it back.

Also I am really tired of feeling like I am stuck in a strange game, with no rules, no prize and frankly no point. Again, no, I am not going to explain that. What would be the point?

Oh, and I am starting to think boys are really stupid. I mean, really!

I am completely too old for a lot of this nonsense.

I'm going home for the weekend and am going to spend quality time with Nana, visit my therapist and sleep.

A lot.

Three and a half weeks to go.

Why couldn't this just be simple?

We don't know...