Hugs

This weekend I went home to visit my Dad in Florida for his birthday. It was a really nice visit. He helped me pick out a laptop as well. He really enjoyed the part where we had everything selected and he got to step back and let me pay for it. He really got a thrill out of it. My brother and I got him a digital picture frame for his birthday. He was happy with that, which is also good.



The best part about the trip was that I got hugged.



Hugs are a singularly interesting things. They accomplish several different things and communicate as much if not more. Lately I’ve been thinking about hugs, about what I feel when I’m hugged, what I like to feel and the really special hugs in my life.



To me the ultimate hug is when you feel comforted, loved, safe and protected all at the same time. That is the true manifestation of being cherished, to me, at least, in the hug. While it is not romantic (I mean I’m not from Kentucky…), that is what I feel when my Dad hugs me. Granted he is my size, which helps, but that is not what it is about. Sometimes when my brother, who is very large, hugs me it is almost like that, but… When my students or camper/staff hug me, as in these adolescents I mentor/teach/care for, I feel gratitude and affection, and it is very nice, but that’s not the same. Some hugs, recent, specific, have been nice, I felt very comforted and loved, but the safe and protected feeling was not strong if at all present.



There was one (well one and then an echo later) hug this summer that felt very safe and protected and comforted, but there was not the time and depth invested yet to feel cherished. I was so hurt and confused at the time, it was more like the wonderfulness of fresh bread after a long hard cold hungry day. I was so desolate, any hug would have felt wonderful, though I also concede the arms were very big and strong and that helped (the food analogy with good bread, versus any bread). So that was a very nice and special hug. I think that hugger has promise…



There was a hug, many years ago, in a different life, that was wonderful, but in hindsight it was something else and I misunderstood. The memory is still nice and I know that there are hugs like that out there because of it.



Then as I said, there are my Dad’s hugs.



I imagine I will know my prince charming when I hug him. I mean there is all the build up and romance of a kiss and I’m sure there will be a clue there too, but the clincher to me would most likely be the hug.



Am I the only one who “collects” memories of hugs? Maybe this is a girl thing, or maybe just a “me” thing.



I read somewhere that women express love through their chests. It cited all the ways that happens, nursing, holding babies, erogenous zones and other more adult concepts. It then also talked about hugs.



I think maybe that is right.



(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))