Owwwwiiiieee!

So, two weeks ago I had a stye... a glorified pimple in my eye.

Now I have two, one on my upper lid and one in the lower. Pain is acheiving new definitions in my life. Not to mention how ridiculous I look. You know how the muppets have huge eyes and there is a ridge along either eyelid (obstensibly where the seem is) yeah, that's what I look like on that side.

So then today was parent's night. How am I supposed to convince parents that I am not the ogre from the seventh circle of hell that my students say I am when I look like I got punched in the eye by rabid ninjas while walking an old lady across the street.

Trying to fix this thing is worse. Picture me, no contacts and you can't wear glasses while fooling with your eyes... so picture me, in front of the mirror, muppet eye, trying to get these stupid styes to rupture (pop!) by squeezing and then resorting to a very sharp needle... Lucky I didn't end up in the ER... Hate to explain THAT injury.

Both have ruptured as of now, and are mostly cleared out of their disgusting viscous poison goo... but the redness, swelling and pain, not to mention tears are all still there...

And, while I was home today rolling in agony my second period decided to stage a revolt. I will show them revolting. Little Miss Muppet Eye is about to make them write essays until their hands fall off... HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Oh dear! The pain has gone to my head. Where is my Tylenol PM?